I’m quite proud of myself for building a Trump style wall around pop culture that has been standing for almost two decades now. I don’t know shit about current pop culture as it pertains to television, because I don’t watch it. When I see a red carpet and assholes walking around on it, I almost never know who the fuck they are. Sadly, Kanye West has jumped over that wall on three separate occasions now. He was the award show asshole, the Jesus melt down guy, and now he’s Kanye Twitty. The whitest black man since Karl Malone to hear the nation tell it. I have some bad news, kiddos. You’ve been fucking trolled.
I’ve heard the future is female and quickly corrected that the future is fucking Troll. There has never been a time where our dominance was on display quite like it is right now. If you really want to be heard in this day and age you have to learn how to troll if only to stop getting trolled. Kanye is pulling a form of trolling where he wraps his message in a toxic phrase. He mixed in what he thinks are his good points right next to the click bait anger phrase. Fucking everyone is taking the bait.
I’m not going to get in to his political agenda right here. I’m not going to bother to break down what are valid points and what are obvious troll attempts. Controversy has been his marketing campaign in the past and this is just the newest mutation of that. Instead I’m going to walk you through a recent internet crime scene that I happened upon that I believe was perpetrated by a troll whose work I’m quite familiar with. Some of you may remember Wes. For almost two years I thought it was Eddie Allen, and he thought it was me. Then one day we actually met him. He’s a master at his craft.
It started out simple enough. Just two people smiling in a picture. Everyone was commenting on how cute they were and how happy they looked. All those throw away compliment comments that I always wonder why people bother making. Then I noticed a huge uptick in comments and sudden F-bombs. It was time to reach for the popcorn. The show had already started. To me it’s obvious as fuck when it’s happening, but most people just cannot fucking resist that bait.
He insulted the two people in the picture with a very insensitive remark. That got the ball rolling. Then instead of backing down when people got offended he doubled down with a completely fucking fabricated statistic to support his claim (which was a Wes signature move). That confused them a little bit, which turned in to long responses that you could tell were typed with little to no actual thought. Grammar, spelling, and anything that remotely resembled coherent thought were killed dead. They went from zero to ghetto in two fucking comments. Happy to fucking furious. For the cherry on top they actually called him “getto”. Be still my Trolling heart.
From there he just did the old poke the dog with the stick routine. He’d not respond for a long time and let them run themselves completely out of threats and insults. Then he popped back up and hit them again. They’d relaunch their campaign for another long ass fucking time with zero responses. He’d let them tire out. Boom. All he was truly doing was exposing how uneducated they were. That was point. That was the joke. It was like that scene in Predator where they shoot off all of their guns and hit absolutely nothing. Only instead of bullets it was words, and instead of Arnie fucking Schwarzenegger it was a second grade education in adults. I felt really bad for laughing. The ones that got trolled were friends of mine, oddly enough.
I didn’t break it up because of Troll code. It’s like bro code, but for Trolls. If you aren’t wise enough to know that it’s happening to you, it’s not my place to stop it. It’s like a nature show host situation. You let the lion eat. I have jumped in and counter trolled on many occasions over the years, but that was more for my own fun and I saw this one far too late. If someone offers up an opinion that almost nobody on Earth would agree with, slow your fucking roll hot heads. You’re probably being tricked in to running a marathon carrying your torch and pitchforks just to see how long you’ll follow an offensive trail of breadcrumbs. The people laughing at your expense aren’t going to break character so long as you are still losing your shit. It’s free entertainment. It’s also how we run our country now, apparently.
I doubt Kanye Twitty is half as concerned with the treatment of black people in America compared to his bottom line. The backlash Trump gets from the left keeps the people on the right happy. He’s the first troll politician, but who would like to bet he won’t be the last? I have been capitalizing the word troll off and on throughout this post just to irritate Kent. We Trolls can’t turn it off, so it’s up to you would be victims to defend yourselves. I don’t think anyone would choose to be a slave, do you? Don’t feed the fucking trolls. I don’t want Kanye scaling my wall a fourth fucking time.